Put on Your Pain Face

Walruses are so stupid. Everybody always talks about how ugly manatees are, but seriously, walruses look even worse. I would hunt them if I could; not for their skin and oil, mind you. Just to make the world a more aesthetically pleasing place. Because when the aliens come, they're not going to speak our language, they're not going to know about our environment. All they're going to see is "pretty" and "not pretty." All the uglies of the planet earth will see is the business end of high powered organic vaporizer.

Drake didn't bother to calculate the chances of finding intelligent, attractive life, either. Luckily, someone else did.

I'll start writing about books and stuff again eventually.

P.S. The guy sitting next to me is complaining to his friend that some other dude doesn't know anything about jazz. Somewhere in Afghanistan, someone is complaining about that guy not knowing about some awesome oud player.