Excise the Excess

Things Destroyed by Last Saturday's House Party:

1. One case of Charles Shaw cabernet-sauvignon (2004 - a fine vintage, especially at $3 a pop)

2. The impeccable whiteness of my comforter (see above)

3. My patience for the tall, bespectacled dude who kept yelling "Cam'Ron! Fucking Cam'Ron!" and slapping the living room ceiling.

4. My desire to imbibe any alcohol for the next two weeks.

5. My manners (from what I'm told).